Welcome my friend - yes we are friends because there’s a bond between us; we both know the HELL of suffering “Social Phobia” (Lets call it S.P).

It matters not if you’re a man or woman or if you’re young or old. If you have an uncontrollable fear of snakes spiders .etc I have great sympathy for you but this site is not really for you. Nor is it for you if you’re worried about making that speech at your friends wedding, that’s normal most people would feel that way. No you have to be a sufferer of SEVERE S.P to understand the pure terror that a victim of this illness feels. It’s the sort of blind panic dread and fear that one would feel facing a firing squad or if you fell into a lions cage. You shake like a leaf you blush your mouth goes dry you can’t speak you break out in a cold sweat your legs feel so weak you think your going to fall. Your thoughts become confused and disorientated. Forget butterfly’s in the stomach your guts are twisted inside out with FEAR. What makes it even worse if that’s possible is in your heart you know there’s nothing to be scared of. Still your ultimate wish is to be anywhere on earth but the place your at right now. If you experience that on a daily basis then we share a terrible burden that other people don’t have to face and can never really understand.

So who am I? I’m the guy with a CURE. But first let me tell you who I am not. I’m NOT any of the following a Doctor, Psychiatrist, Hypnotherapist, Psychologist, Sociologist, Psychoanalyst, Counselor etc. Over the long lonely depression filled years that I suffered I visited and dealt with all of those people and a whole lot more. All to no avail in fact I gradually got worse. A few were decent people who did try to help but most were just doing a well paid job and when you returned for your next appointment they’d forgotten your name and they would be constantly interrupted by phone calls. Many of them suggested highly dangerous “cures” like brain operations two of their favorites were “Frontal Lobe Lobotomy” and ECT “Electro Convulsive Therapy” (Look it up and read about your worst nightmare) all the drugs they handed out like sweets were highly additive with awful side effects. It took me years to get off and free of them.

I have also spent fortunes on books, cassette and videos, that offered a cure. I’ve traveled miles to attend clinics and as you know traveling by public transport is a nightmare for the sufferer. I’ve noticed that many of the people who run courses or write the books live in places like Mayfair or Manhattan and are married to movie directors or lawyers and live a great lifestyle. Well not me pal S.P made me sink so low I ended up cleaning public toilets for a living. I never married (No I’m not gay) I had no children I never owned my own house. I rent a small flat in a very poor part of London all because of SEVERE S.P. My parents were cold reserved people unable to show their emotions I was never abused in any way but I look back on my childhood as a lonely unhappy time. Maybe that was the root cause of my S.P I mention that because we can all think of something that may have been the cause. The so called professionals place a lot of importance on that. I don’t because whatever it was your stuck with and suffering the affects of it RIGHT NOW. Mine started in my last year at school when I became very self conscious and developed a fearful dread of being asked to read in front of the class. This extreme anxiety moved on with me into my working life I was a smart looking young man so I got some good jobs but because of S.P no way could I hold them. Would you buy from a salesman who went a deep red, stammered, couldn’t look you in the eye, and shook so much that even his head trembled. No nor would the boss who in the end would say get lost your bad for business.

Over the years I slid down and down the social ladder with long spells out of work and of course no money. By the time I was thirty I could only do work where I did not have to deal with people like road sweep night work in factories and in the end cleaning public toilets when closed at night. S.P was now so bad I couldn’t face going into a shop to buy something. To pass a queue of people waiting for a bus was hell I was sure they were all staring at me. I couldn’t sit facing other passengers on a train unless I had a newspaper to hide behind. If I attempted going into a restaurant or café I’d pick a table facing the wall and if anyone sat at my table my hands would shake so much I couldn’t get the food into my mouth. I became the ultimate night person only going out late to walk the streets. I was a normal young man (apart from having S.P). So what about girlfriends? Yes, I had a few but they soon got tired of a partner who could never face any type of social occasion would never meet their family and could only go for walks in the park. There was one girl, now a grandmother, who I was in love with and wanted to marry but she wanted a big wedding. The thought of making a speech to an audience of a couple of hundred people was enough to make me seriously contemplate suicide and I’ve done that many times over the sad years and attempted it twice. After years of chronic stress my physical health broke down under the strain and I became very ill with stomach ulcers.

Going back to girlfriends; sexually I was normal. I mention this because the medical people, especially psychiatrist, are obsessed with the subject. They think it’s the cause of all your problems. Maybe that’s why they hardly ever cure anyone. My view is that your sex life or lack of it has very little to do with S.P and you can waste so much time going down that road and you’ll end up with no answers as to why you can’t face the world. S.P turned me into a lonely outcast I spent decades hiding in the shadows when I should have been not only getting on with my life but ENJOYING life to the full. I didn’t deserve to be that unhappy. AND NOR DO YOU MY FRIEND. I deeply regret to say I can never get those years back but I do know now that S.P can be got under control I have done it and so can you. When you go to a Doctor for help your subconsciously asking someone else to turn your life around. Someone who in my long experience has no real interest in you and forgets your case as soon as you leave the consulting room. My way you do it yourself by yourself and for yourself. YOU BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND.

I know better than anyone how down you feel how hopeless how abandoned and sad your life seems to you. How these attacks of sheer panic make it such a struggle to get thru each day. Well hear this last week I gave a speech to a group of about forty people in a large room it lasted about 25 minutes would you believe I even cracked a couple of jokes. I wish you could have been there. I even got a polite round of applause. (OK, not a standing ovation but who knows next time?) The point is I wasn’t scared, a little nervous yes, but not petrified like I would have been in the bad old days. I can go alone into any crowded restaurant order a meal and not even be aware of the diners around me. I live with a lady partner we may even get married and if we do sure I can face a wedding. I have friends and a good social life ok a low key one but nice. I even belong to a club. I recall years ago a doctor who was supposed to be treating me telling me to go and join a club. What an idiot what stupid so called advice at that time my nerves fear and S.P were so bad I would have never got past the club’s front door. Two quick tips (Not Cures) before I go that would have helped me thru those lost years if only I had known. Try to laugh or at least smile at something funny each day maybe watch an old comedy movie keep your sense of humor. And if you can, get a pet; dog, cat, parrot or anything. Animals can bring a lot of affection into your lonely life and they depend on you. I have pets now, I should have had them back then.

The answer to the hell of severe S.P came to me after a lifetime of desperately searching. In my case it took too long. S.P has taken away most of my life. But I can and will save you from the same fate, unlike other sites that you have seen I will not make a charge of hundreds or in some cases thousands of £’s. Just help us to keep this site going for the sake of fellow sufferers who think they're alone. Please make a donation of only £5. Or USA$10. I’ll then send the cure that worked for me as an email attachment for you to print out and read and re-read. From then on you can only get better.

From now on mentally you will be wearing an invisible suit of armour protecting you in whatever type of social occasion you find yourself. It will also protect you from anything the outside world throws at you. So give yourself a big hug, why not, you've earned it. For taking the first step towards a new and better life. A LIFE FREE OF SOCIAL PHOBIA.

I wish you well my friend. Steve. (Steve Conway)

P.S The book entitled 'The Hell of Social Phobia - One Man's 40 Year Struggle' about my battle with S.P. has recently been released. You can read more at: http://www.zoism.co.uk

Update! Due to the success of the 1st edition, the 2nd revised and enlarged edition has now been published (2008)

FEAR IS ONE OF THE VERY WORST FEELINGS KNOWN TO THE HUMAN RACE.
I KNOW THAT TO THOSE SUFFERING THE UTTER MISERY OF SEVERE SOCIAL
PHOBIA EACH MOMENT IS LIKE AN HOUR. DON’T WASTE ANOTHER MOMENT.